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I don’t feel the same

That time in a day when sky embraces orange colour just to welcome dark night , has it’s own different charisma. Birds empty once their home; sky, to let the stars take their places. The breeze walks slowly giving welcome greetings to the moon. Night waits on the door step, as usual it waits a little more, to let us see this adieu of the Sun and the Welcome of the stars and the moon.
I can hear the bell ringing and mantras chants from the temple. I can see children and toddlers playing around. There is even a warm coffee mug in my hand, the aroma of coffee is pacifying my nostrils. But still heart yearns for something, which is vague, maybe my heart yearns for you or your three rings call on landline. Which was a sign to draw my attention that you are waiting for me downstairs, to go for long walk, sometimes hand in hand sometimes just walking with hands in pocket and kicking pebbles. Having frequent eye contacts and laughing and talking about everything going on in our head. It was a meditation where we both of us were at that very moment, we neither cared about what happened or what will happen. It was just you and I with night suffusing in the azure sky. Such a halcyon it was!
Hm. Maybe I miss this or maybe I don’t, but now this orange sky, birds flying to their nests, stars twinkling, moon getting brighter, bells ringing, warm coffee doesn’t feel the same. Only because now my landline never gets three rings call !

After a very long gap!

Brown skin..

My skin tone is dark brown.
Is it so I am not the beautiful girl in the town ??
Since age six I have applied layers of fairness cream.
Just for futile reason that people likes girls with skin fair and body slim and trim..

Fat or brown is considered ugly
No one likes dusky and bubbly.
Though I have my own opinions
But my sound is muted,
As no one wants dark girls as their life’s companion.

I am the colour of strong tea,
Everyone loves the beverage, whatever the colour it be.
They call me wheatish,
So why not the fair skin you call riceish??

White European features this what attracts boys.
Come-on boys be a man,
Choose a girl who will stand with you in all your plans.

They need big breasts,
With thin waist.
But no one cares for quality heart.
Remember, The Taj too gets soiled by dirt.

One must know the vital difference between;
Looking good,
And actually being good.

Don’t look for bride or groom to be with a fair skin,
But look for,
The One, who treats everyone fairly.

Paste of haldi or ubtan,
Advised to use sunscream to protect from tanning
To lighten the colour of skin,
Bloody world keeps giving tantrums to innocent teen.

Why can’t I embrace my own colour,
The way you do to your toddler.
What’s wrong in being brown??
Does it make me look like clown?

Look for the pure soul,
Ultimately the soul plays the crucial role.
In life;
Beauty is like rainbow,
Only to mesmerise the eyes.
But rain is what makes the life go.

Being brown doesn’t make me ugly,
But It’s your mindset that you see me that way.
Embracing my colour I actually look great!!!

#darkisbeautiful

Symbiotic relationship..

Words in me have sprouted themselves. They are like cells in my body, each reciting their strange stories to strangers.

They are expanding themselves as though if they have fear of extinction.

They are living in me like parasites. Dependent on my thoughts and believes. With forever hinge in my heart.

They respire in my spirit and feed themselves with my zeal and agony.

They take birth in between my sleep and dream.

They laugh in the moment of little ecstacy of the day.

They cry when they are injured in heart.

They sympathized me in the darkness of the darkest nights.

They leave me by oozing out through pens to live in diaries and notebooks.

But they leave a permanent mark on my spirit, a permanent foot print. Like if they have legacy of my soul.

More than a parasitic relationship we shared a symbiotic relation….

Just a second

Collecting guts, again I am pushing myself in thoughts of us.

Here I reveal the truth, every day there is a thought in my meadows and I blush.

But I know in a day or it’s hour or even for a small nano second I must be in your mind.

For more or little, like a blessing or curse you must be amused how in my love you have gone blind.

In black bleeding nights or in bold days you must be missing me and my presence.

You must have gone freak in the dry day. Tired and low in remembering filthy me.

I know the first love. The love and the person is not easily riddance.

The taste of love always stays in heart. This is why I know you must be remembering me.

I am assured that I am in your mind. Maybe not for day or hours but for just a second or a nano second.

Killed was HUMANITY. ..

(Everyone expect to write something relatable. Something about love, something about pain. But today what I am gonna write will be relatable with you and me. Because I am gonna write about humanity. I am gonna describe The pain which humanity faced after seeing Praduman laying dead in bathroom. I am gonna describe not the Praduaman’s death but the murder of kindness and tenderness of soul. It’s shocking when you hear that Praduaman was just a random boy who was killed by his own school mate just because, that school mate wants his exam to get postponed. This can happen with you and me. Or any random student in the school.)

Here the narrator is humanity herself.

I was paused and frightened. I was reckless and helpless. Again I was going to be killed in small room. Again I was going to get smothre in pieces. I prayed, I begged to the young teen ager to stop and drop that sharp weapon on white tile. I requested him not to paint this floor with blood. I tried showing him the the docile and scandalized eyes of the little boy whom he was holding with tight grip. But he didn’t buy my pleads. He ran the knife through his neck rupturing the toddler’s vocal cords. I was numb and scared. I felt the pain of death once more. I experienced the bleeding of the 6 year old. Toddler breath his last breath and my last hope also left me.

But it wasn’t just the murder of the 6 year old but it was a double murder. I also died with the decent child. His mother didn’t lost only her son but she lost her trust in me and kindness. It was not the question about the teen ager but it was a doubt on his upbringing. It was a slap on his moral values. It was something that can’t be explain in words. The stream of blood from the 6 year old was doubting my existence. Her mother’s screams were vulnerable made me look as the matter of imagination. His Father considered me ghoul.

This what is happening each day to me. I am sometimes killed in flats, in schools and even in hospitals. Everyone on this planet had lost trust in me. Most of them have kicked me out of their souls. Now I hear that world is modernizing. Everyone is singing the song of mordernism. But I know if I would be killed like this everyday the whole human race will come to extinction. Because I am not made from human but humans are made of me. I am their soul ingredient. Which they are throwing out of them daily…

Love ❤

The emotion which comes secretly.

Teaches discretely.

It makes you oblivion, scary and crazy.

With doing nothing you stay busy.

******************************

You can trade anything for love.

Feels like the command coming from above.

You loose your six senses in it.

You forget to sleep and eat.

*****************************

But you loose “ME” in building “US.”

You start cherishing all the disgusts,

With smile and opean heart.

It hurts when your loved one is apart.

*************!****************

Love breaks you in pieces.

Love is only responsible for caprices.

Your own patience get amused.

After seeing you smile, though your heart is bruised.

****************************!*

The love drench you,

It burns you in through.

It will kill you, though you will be living.

It will bring you despair, still you be believing.

******************************

Love is tricky,

It feels you with jealousy and insecurity.

The colour of love is different, Boss!!

Everyone’s Love is unique and gross.

******************************

Roli…

Please like and comment and review.

Books..

They are astonishing creatures,

With quirky features.

They live doing ding-dong,

With words in illusionary bong.

****************************

They let us know the people,

Their mould, legacy and regal.

They let us to drown in them,

They let us to love them.

******************************

They create an intimacy,

Its a tryst but not conspiracy.

They come in lives to not to leave,

But to stay and millions things to give.

*****************************

We can hold them in day,

And love them at night,

Every time they have new tale to say.

From loneliness they rescue us as our Knight.

******************************

They travel us to the world,

While we are lazy and curled.

Not moving an inch.

Without tickets or bags to winch.

****************************

They admire us as their best folks.

In silent nights they were the one,

With whom we spoke.

They hug us when we are done.

They leave us numb,

Pain stored in them make us mum

They make us smile and let us weep.

In new pages, tight and crisp.

**************************

They be with us in our desert.

They heal us when we are hurt.

They pick our soul to love,

They are a bliss in cove.

***************************

They win our hearts,

They line us that living is an art.

They mingle with us in our entity,

Giving us an unique identity.

Roli

Once More…

One day. Yeah, one day, maybe in wedding or a busy road, in hospital or in train or somewhere, here and there we will meet. After a decade or two. But assuredly we will meet. When we will be living our dreams or regretting for not living them. When we will have those initial signs of old-age and we might be in distress by feeling the old-age at our doors. Everything will be changed. But through our lost connection we will meet like two correct wires joined together to flicker the bulb.

You will be with a girl approx your age holding your right hand firmly. A girl who will be less beautiful than me, but she will own you and you will own her. On your other side a little girl who will resembles the tiny angel from the heaven. With two ponies. Her hairs like noodles coming out of her rubber-band as a water from fountain. She will be holding your index finger stiffly that your both sweats will be mingling with each others. Standing in between two ladies you couldn’t give me your strong smile once which boosted me more than caffeine. But you will smile, smile a feeble smile.

I will be scandalize after seeing you. My heart will sink in gloom to know that you are a married man, happily we can’t declare just by seeing face na !!!! I will get frozen and curse my fate for having an encounter with you. The encounter in which we both are going to be butchered together emotionally. You, after seeing me in business suit and sour face, you will search for a while to my vanished naiveness. You will look for my soft features and at last you will look for my marriage marks and after not finding any of these things which you expected to be with me as my close companion, will make you confused.

Still then by your expression I can understand about your doom and I will smile at you a bright one after a very long time. As before, my same dimples will emerge like holes on cheeks. Your heart will loose it’s beat and lungs breath, still you will fall once again on those dimples. You will smirk and walk towards me. I will be like a stop video. Can’t move , can’t run. Our breathing will increase and all our memories will get played in our minds in loops, as if all they were the episodes of just yesterday. It will feel like just yesterday we have danced in rain, just yesterday you have proposed me, just yesterday we cooked together. Just yesterday you left me.

I will look in your eyes, can’t resist because they are the same eyes on which I have lost my all the worlds. You will look in mine, still you can’t resist . You will find the love in the sourness. The love for “you” which isn’t rancid with time but it has increased it’s luster like a gold. But something inside you will clench after this. You might don’t know what? Maybe because the love which gave you solace is still alive like a flickering fire on stove. Same heat and same light.

The guilt in your eyes will be visible as a spot in white cloth. I will be able to sense your love and will sigh with satisfaction. We will talk for a while taking an account for each other’s life. Making mental notes in mind. Still we will have infinite topic to talks and also the moments of silence. Just like the decades before it will seem like. You will have urge to hold me in your arms, you will want to stick my head in your chest. You will feel to run away a far somewhere holding my hands. Hush……you will stop yourself. You will ask me about my husband and children and I will smirk and silently show you the same ring which you wore me, by making promises that you never kept.

Astonishment in your eyes and voice will be traceable. You will be moved and cripple with your thoughts. By giving my regards to your wife and your daughter I will zoom out from there.

But on my second step I will overhear your wife asking about me and you will say “We were just friends!!!” You will be also moved by this reply. I will sense you are still looking at me going afar from you, but I won’t turn.

Lost and broken I will come home. Angry, jaded and reckless I will cry myself to sleep. Again there will be no-marks of your yours in my life.

You will be sad and gloomy. You will realize something unknown Alchemy was still with life. Still you misses me everyday, still you need me. But your daughter’s voice will force you to brush away my thoughts. Again I will be the background. Abandon and ignored in your life.

Yea, we will meet to hurt ourselves ONCE MORE!!!

Roli..

Please tell how it was in comments!!!

A day will come…

A day will come, when eyes will be empty and lips will be reckless to speak something but will be shining with faded smile.

Your memories will be like a print, in an “Old cloth.” Vague and blur. Traceable only for a while.

A day will come when you will be happy in your life and I will be happy for “Yours.”

You will not care for me and I will not care for myself.

A day will come when linings on my temple will get darker and heart will be heavy with our memories getting sharper.

But I will love you anyways and you will love “Yourself” in everyway.

A day will come when my hot cup of tea will loose it’s steam. Getting impatient of my habit to forget.

I can forget the hot tea, the roses, the sky, the titles of book. But I can’t forget you. Yes, you and only you.

A day will come when I will be tired and restless and will start to write about you. About our memories and dreams that didn’t come true.

Roli… Please comment and review

Transformed

I was confused and bemused.

I was lost and weary in daylight.

My soul was lamented & cold.

My green meadow was out of my sight.

*******************************

I wished to die and acquire tranquil eternity.

I was alone like a sad & decayed flesh.

My pious spirit and flawless beauty,.

Was forbidden and untraced.

***************************

But You reached for my astray soul.

With zeal and verdict of forever’.

You loved my solitary parts in solace.

Together we walked for universe’s savour.

*******************************

My shambolic hairs, tormented eyes,

wet cheeks and broken heart.

Of all you took charge to guard them with relived sigh.

I raised from my cocoon, took a new birth.

*******************************

You guarded my tender soul, a very little act.

You gathered shattered pieces of my life.

Rekindled it with love,

Your eyes revealed that you are a naive.

****************************

You held me like a crib does to infant.

You loved me like if it’s the last time.

You amused me with your melodious love chants.

You made me inferred that loving someone wasn’t a crime.

************************

Roli…..