Hi,Kitty. Good morning. Its Saturday and there is no any enthusiasm for weekend and holiday. Everything and everybody appears to be gloomy and sad. Their is an awkward silence in my mind. Birds on the wet trees are singing melodiously by seeing clouds and someone is yelling out there but I don’t know. I am frighten I am scared of loosing him. I am in regret for not unsending those messages on insta before letting him to read. For not believing his words. For not trusting my love. I will be broken in every way if he left me.
I will miss him. I will his those silly talks about economics. His poem about his crushes and his obsession about girls. I can’t forget his nature’s photographs and landscape which he send me early morning. I can’t kill my desire of living with him in one home with kissing and cooking. Walking on the street of Amestradam his arms on my shoulders telling world I belongs him and splashing water on raft when we will be rowing in canals of Amestradam. I didn’t want to end like this, truth is this I never want to end my love for him. I want capture all those sunrise and sunset and even drink coffee with more latte by chatting about all the things going on in our lives. Driving scooty and singing on our loudest the favorite lyrics “I had a dream we were sipping whiskey neat, highest floor and bowery. And I was high enough. Somewhere along the lines we stopped seeing eye to eye. You were staying out all night and I had enough. No, I don’t wanna know where you been where you are going. But I know I won’t be home and you will be on your own. Who’s gonna walk you through the dark side of the morning. Who’s gonna rock when the sun won’t let you sleep. Who is waking up to drive you home when you are drunk and all alone who’s gonna walk you through the dark side of the morning… IT AIN’T ME….. “and be the Craziest people around.
I don’t want to bid him adieu and try to forget him. I want to be close to him such that our breath mingle. This small misunderstanding doesn’t mean to break my hopes, I won’t let it. I want to know him more, his funny and evil side. Through the window I would see the faded rainbow, hidden in clouds. Yesterday I remembered how he said me excitedl like a three year old, hey, listen here is rainbow but not so clear. I want that rainbow to get rid of those clouds and emerge as a beautiful creation same as I want our relationship to get rid of clouds of dismay and get more beautiful than that rainbow.
Kitty, morning is mourning today…… Without him
Your’s lovingly Angel …
A sad pages of diary……