First Post for nomination….. 

Hi!! I am just happy that Mr. Praneet Shekhar to nominate me for this award. Thank you so much. 

To write  about me is little difficult, you know I can write all the things around you but me! Its something difficult but I will try to break the back of the beast. I will try to be real and completely honest not bringing my imagination here. 

So starting with me, I am a girl who have currently turned to 18 and I am glad that no more I am in those filthy teenagers. But I don’t know what have changed in me. Today too  I am same mysterious girl. Who makes hell for the people whom she loves. I am not at all perfect. Like I speak lots of lies, I have hurt many people, I get jealous, I feel like hitting someone’s head with a big rock But with all these imperfections I love myself. I feel happy when I see myself in the mirror. I am an extreme introvert, I just stay silent at most of the places. I don’t mingle up with every next person. I love my own company. 

So, I am not an extraordinary girl. Actually, I am!  but in some fields I am like best in some criteria  but in some I am just zero while others things which I do is completely mediocre. Sometimes I like exaggerating myself but, its rare. Another rare fact about me I use too much of “Actually” and “Obviously”. 

To a fault I am scared of cats and dogs. People find them cute but my mind shows me danger zone. I like sitting under shady trees and counting leaves or doing something which no one even give a taught of doing. Or mostly I love doing is to roll myself in couch and read the book, peep in the character’s life.  

I love my family, that everyone does but actually I don’t admire staying with them. I just feel to elope with my best friend to those one of the islands of Indonesia. Finally my most important bad habit is that I am obsessed of clothes and fashion. I like gossiping anf give my advice to everyone. 

Hey, just now saw the blog of #Shabd Ragini. Thanks Gaurav it meant lot to me for mentioning me as special. I am really filled with Gratitude for you. 

Nomination… 

Actually I haven’t done this before so

1. Shabd Ragini (save me ok) Gauri

2. TheUncertainties787

3.Namrata.

Question.. 

1.what is writing to you all? 

2. Define yourself in one word? 

3. Give me something slang name. 

Answers for PraneetShekhar

1.who or what inspires you? Inspiration I gain from everything near me its even sometimes the ants in kitchen. 

2. What was the first taught when you start writing?                                    First taught was like write something real, something which everyone should connect through. 

3 which is the favorite post of mine? Actually I have come in touch with you just a day ago but I have read mai chup rehta hun. And I liked it. 

4. What would you do if there is no blogging?                                                   Then I should jott it down on paper and click pictures and WhatsApp it to my best friend and ask her how’s it.                                                    

5. Where you would go to honeymoon?                                             Honestly speaking I haven’t taught about it. It won’t be just my only decision. But I will try to convince him to go to Amestradam.                                     

6. Which language would you like to learn?                                                       It depends where I will be living. 

7. Which is your favorite character?   Favorite character is Agustus waters from fault in our stars by Jhon Green. I will suggest everyone to read it.   

8.If you have one super power what it would be and why?                            Actually super power I want is something through which I can bring smile on someone’s face the simple reason is everyone is suffering from something else or other things and people forget to smile. 

9. Which are two words you will sum up your life, you have lived till now?  My life will be thrilling and unplanned.

🔟. What is love according to you?  Love is for me friendship with little attraction, love is giving without expecting in return. 

Now Shabd Ragini (Gaurav) 

Which type of image you perceive after reading my blog?                        Someone who understands world. The pain of people around, who write beautifully and yea whose vocabulary is too good. 

If by chance we would meet what would be the expectation from me? What would be the first question you would ask me?                               First of all I would be too glad to meet you, my expectations, I don’t know but yea my first question will hey, how are you?. 

Hash!! I am done. But I enjoyed answering. And please nominees you can even answer me in comment but please answer. 

Once again special thanks to Gaurav and Praneet. 



Everyday the writer lives someone else’s life……. 

She writes,she jottes, she scribble.

About mountain’s peak hidden in clouds, About the ripples in pond. About those singing birds and that hoary tree.About those scary waves of sea. About those millions stars in velvet sky. About dark night and dusky day. About the ripen fruits and that tiny daisy. About the girl behind the next street and the toddler crying after beat.

She writes about her incomplete love and her past lovers. She writes about her infinite crushes. She writes about true love. About parental love and describes the bicker of siblings. She draws sketch of friendship through words.

She feels the pain after betrayal, of the boy laying drunk. She jots exactly the eyes of the” girl of his dreams”. She fathoms the love at first sight. She interpret the concern of the mother. She knew onus of being wife. She feels their role in herself and makes it incredible with her words.

Though she is single but knows how it is to be in a relationship. Though she doesn’t smoke but writes about the grey smoke blew from the pouted lips. Though she is virgin but knows what is to make love. She might have never kissed but beautifully inscribes it. She is well known about loneliness and being uncherished.

She feels the alchemy of locked eyes. She paw the scars of raped girl. She sees the moist eyes of widow. She feels the pain of childless woman. She herself live different life everyday.

Her words describe her, her soul and her taughts. She live for her words and her mental scenarios. She had cried and faced penury, with compassion.

Sometimes she feels blessed , sometimes regrets but most of all she gives her part and takes everyone’s grief and joy in her life in a sublime way.

True…

Everyday the writer lives someone else’s life…….

Love with moon

Loneliness is killing her…. 

False soul what she have always stumbled across…. 

Feeling unloved and hatred…. 

Her throat have lumped, by crying fat tears…. … 

Panic is always over her, with overwhelming grief……. 

Her giggle disappeared and she is like a silent water….. 

She herself have solaced her by staring at the vague moon…….. 

With same moist eyes and parched lips she smiled at moon in hopes to shine brighter……… 

Her eyes were sore and red and loving darkness, no one would question her tears in silent night………. 

Love of moon kept her moving, she woke up not for viewing those sunrise or to walk in twilight but stare at the moon which was full of scars……. 

She is devoted to moon, it made her feel her scars worth. It made her feel, the scars which makes one beautiful….. 

Soon she was in love with moon with scars……  

Sudden consciousness….. 

19 July 20k15

Ahh….hi I know you aren’t my kitty but one of its kind. I am writing to you just because I want to divert my mind from that killing pain in my back. I am in ICU intensive care unit. I think I am asleep for long time maybe more than two days. I have no idea of time I even don’t know whether its day or night. There is even difficulty in writing in dim light. More than light, my hands are numb and I am unable to hold the pen in between my fingers. My hands with lots of needles seems heavier and this oxygen tube is tickling my nostrils. My hands are cold maybe due to Air conditioner but I am feeling weak. Even I can’t see my mom or any other sick people. Some machines are beeping at regular intervals and that blood pressure measuring instrument sphygmomanometer is attached to my upper arm making my hand more impotent to move.  Maybe I am looking worst with saliva on my cheek. My lips are parched. My hairs maybe like a nest of early bird. My head is hurting and I am feeling dizzy as I am sitting. Some nurses attended me after I gained my consciousness, I was even unable to grin at them. I want to meet my mom but they won’t allowed. 

But everything is not bad here. In front me little far from my bed on a chair with some files a young doctor is sitting. His white skin is sparkling in dim light. His frame less glass is adding to his personality . His white coat suits him. He is young. May be doctor for intern. I can say I have crush on him. Sometimes he looks at me and I try to smile at him but my oxygen tube doesn’t make it possible for him to see my smile. 

I am tired of this drips running through my veins. It is painful. I am feeling isolated from the world like I don’t know anything about it not even whats the time. The room is with no window so that I can see sun or moon or even stars, tree or flowers, birds or those night flies. I want to meet my mom and hug her. Ask her about my favorite tv series. Call Shivani and Anshika. Nothing is exciting here, sometimes I take out the oxygen tube and breath for a change. But I fear nurses giving me more injection so I don’t do frequently. I am feeling life less….. 

But I know my doctor is gonna scold me for using her prescription paper for writing. Actually I am waiting to get rid of all these blunders. Go out and sit on beach and view those waves touching seashore. Make my hair and put so much of Vaseline on my lips wear my new pair of jeans and tees. Argue with my brother for phone and ask papa for ice cream. But, I have to sit here until someone call my mom. I am feeling sleepy talk you later.

Bye. 

                                 Yours loving                                               Roli…………… 

Actually today just going through my diary I found this page. I don’t know I am doing right to post it or not but I don’t wanna rue about later. Writing has always been successful in lessening my pain. I didn’t know what to do that  time. No one was around me except some nurses and that cute doctor but I want my mom to hold my hands. It wasn’t possible as visiting time had passed. I am glad that I captured that moment on paper so that it can remind me that how to fight pain. How you feel isolated and how your hormones always works when your eyes see cute people.I didn’t had my diary along with me so I wrote in my file papers for which I was later scold by my doctor and it was fun when she got messed up with all odd papers.  I have copied ditto from my diary to share with you all…. 

Thanks for reading. Hope you like it. 

Sorry…….. 

Date-8/7/20k17

Hi,Kitty. Good morning. Its Saturday and there is no any enthusiasm for weekend and holiday. Everything and everybody appears to be gloomy and sad. Their is an awkward silence in my mind. Birds on the wet trees are singing melodiously by seeing clouds and someone is yelling out there but I don’t know. I am frighten  I am scared  of loosing him. I am in regret for not unsending those messages on insta before letting him to read. For not believing his words. For not trusting my love. I will be broken in every way if he left me. 

I will miss him. I will his those silly talks about economics. His poem about his crushes and his obsession about girls. I can’t forget his nature’s photographs and landscape which he send me early morning. I can’t kill my desire of living with him in one home with kissing and cooking. Walking on the street of Amestradam his arms on my shoulders telling world I belongs him and splashing water on raft when we will be rowing in canals of Amestradam. I didn’t want to end like this, truth is this I never want to end my love for him. I want capture all those sunrise and sunset and even   drink coffee with more latte by chatting about all the things going on in our lives. Driving scooty and singing on our loudest the favorite lyrics “I had a dream we were sipping whiskey neat, highest floor and bowery. And I was high enough. Somewhere along the lines we stopped seeing eye to eye. You were staying out all night and I had enough. No, I don’t wanna know where you been where you are going. But I know I won’t be home and you will be on your own. Who’s gonna walk you through the dark side of the morning. Who’s gonna rock when the sun won’t let you sleep. Who is waking up to drive you home when you are drunk and all alone who’s gonna walk you through the dark side of the morning… IT AIN’T ME….. “and be the Craziest people around. 

I don’t want to bid him adieu and try to forget him. I want to be close to him such  that our breath mingle. This small misunderstanding doesn’t mean to break my hopes, I won’t let it. I want to know him more, his funny and evil side. Through the window I would see the faded rainbow, hidden in clouds. Yesterday I remembered how he said me excitedl like a three year old,  hey,  listen here is rainbow but not so clear. I want that rainbow to get rid of those clouds and emerge as a beautiful creation same as I want our relationship to get rid of clouds of dismay and get more beautiful than that rainbow. 

Kitty, morning is mourning today…… Without him 

                                 Your’s lovingly                                           Angel … 

A sad pages of diary……  

4 am…….. 

Its been 4 Am and I am awake in your taughts. Thinking you actually owe me love or not. Its being not more than month that we have come close but  I feel so attached to you, and isolated from the  world. A hectic day is waiting ahead but I am unable to distract myself from your voice and chuckles and make myself sleep. Soon the sun will yawn to rise in east and I am in no mood for getting dreams by closing my eyelids. 

Making milestone in talking and feeling that  we should have talked some more shows how desperately I miss you. I don’t believe that I will stare in your eye’s pool and see my reflection. Or feel  your skin’s warmth against me. But there is a hope, like a small ray of light in dark tunnel. Which inspires me too aspire you. But hope has always been a volatile poison, which kills you slowly. Heart which is throbing in stary night and dusky day and cool twilight will stop as if the poison have  done its job. Only thing haunts me is the my own scenario which I have made in my clouds of taughts. Which gives me dream of your and mine togetherness on this planet, where nothing I can control.  Not even my loneliness and insomniac night.  All scenarios gives me strength to move a step ahead with you but my last mistakes stops me from expecting more  as you never assured me that you  love me…….. 

Its around five and still tossing on my bed with  diary and scribbling about you. 

His Attempt……. 

Leaning on the wall with choas and chase.                                                           He got a glimpse of pretty face.               Hairs on shoulders unevenly spread.    Black kholed eyes ravished they.             Beaming of her had made his day.              

He made a gesture to move but she ceased and looked.                                     He smirked for the attempt she have just made.                                                   But she moved sideways ways for handshake with his best friend.             

He was moved aback with what she have just did.                                              He moved closer and she was still, her aura was immensely awful.                     He stepped ahead and  her breath warming his neck.                                    Her cherry red lips touched his and soon it were rolling against each.        

Soon she was moved away with his whack, blushing and head down walking isolated.                                        She disappeared from his sight, and he blushed with glee.  Cried for his  just attempt….   

Well, spent Sunday… 

“Vidya, today is Sunday and you rise up early today!” her mother asked surprisingly by rubbing her eyes. “yea, I am going to one of my friend’s home.” Vidya  hesitantly answered with holding mug of coffee in hand. “Last Sunday too you went for outing with friends, atleast stay at home for once in a week.” Vidya’s mom said showing her disapproval. “I feel frustrated here, please!” Vidya  said pleadingly  and moved towards Balcony. 

Vidya was a 20 year old girl who lived in Capital City . She was open minded and freedom loving. She loved to be in company of peers. But at same time she was sensual and caring. She believed in theory that everyone should be loved, whether whatever the person is. She was a second year B. COM student, and she didn’t give shit to the course. Only thing she wanted to do in life was starting her own N.G.O. 

“Hi, Debu. All fine?” Vidya  called her friend whom she was going to meet today he explained her the plan and they both hung up. She finished her coffee hurriedly and rushed for grooming. After taking hot shower she dressed herself in white lace top and bright yellow and orange,  black long skirt. She took her scarf and wrapped around her neck. She kept her hairs open and took her specks. Hurriedly she wore her sandals and left the home. 

Vidya was in extreme hurry. She wasn’t going to afford a waste of single minute. She took auto and “Bhaiya, Cafe coffee day. Chaloge.” and the driver started the engine and meter took its speed. Vidya was happy for spending her Sunday at her favorite place, where she gets peace and happiness at same time. She felt little guilt  to lie her mom, but her mom would never approve this. On way she stopped at small stall and took various types of Cadburies. 

Auto stopped just infront of CCD, and she paid and got down from vehicle. After all this ritual, instead of going in CCD and placing order of favorite cappuccino she walked towards the opposite building. Named as “SPECIAL CHILD CENTER”. She walked swiftly towards the center. The glass door showed clear view of inside. She pushed the door and stepped in. As soon as she stepped in the boy with unusually thin limbs walked up and hugged her. He was Abhishek who was suffering from some of those strange inability. He was of 15,but looked like a 7 year old. Vidya patted his cheeks and held his hand, and they walked towards the recreation room. Debu was sitting in corner with little girl helping her in force and action, teaching her to catch ball. She smiled at him. As soon as the children saw her they gathered around Vidya, Vidya was their favorite Didi. Vidya always helped them to learn and overcome their disability. More than that Vidya played with them, eat with them and also bought chocolates for them. 

“Didi, today I colored only under the border of the circle.” Om yelled out loudly. “Vidya didi, look at this I have drawn.” Ana showed her paper which was covered with sketches. Vidya appreciated their attempt and gave everyone the chocolates. Then her eyes fell on the Khushi who was sitting in the center of the room with colors all around.  Khusi  avoided Vidya. Vidya gone and sat beside her. But as soon as her eyes fell on the drawing sheet she couldn’t move her eyes. It was the most beautiful landscape she have ever seen. She stare sometimes at landscape and sometimes at Khushi. The colors she was mingling and splashing water was thrilling. She kept her hands around the Khushi’s shoulder and kissed her cheeks. But soon the man with big bagpack arrived. And handed over mevans cake to Debu. 

Vidya was having lots of fun with these children. She loved them unconditionally and they loved her back. But this Sunday was special as it was Khushi’s 9th birthday and Debu and Vidya have planned a surprise celebration for all. As soon as cake arrived Children created chaos in excitement to know who was Birthday boy or Girl. Vidya soon disclosed the suspence and arranged the chocolate icing cake in front of Khushi. She also displayed all her paintings. Soon Khushi blewed candles and everyone buzzed in Birthday song. Khushi kissed Vidya and gave her the piece of cake. Soon Vidya played songs and everyone started moving on tune. Gaurav who danced like  Prabhu Deva was busy in showing his skills. Soon the Pizza boy arrived with pizzas and soon everyone was bustling to collect their box. After having meal. Vidya played and helped them to learn many things. Vidya loved those children more than anything. She can spend her whole with these kids and she actually find them special. She bid good bye to everyone for home. When she entered her house she hugged her mom and whispered sorry. 

She changed into tank tops and sweat pants and opened her personal diary and starts the page with “Well spent Sunday.” 

P. S :- ACTUALLY, this post is just not for simply getting likes, its creating aware that we avoid such children just because they don’t appear to be normal. I know they are not normal but normal people endup being normal. But different people endup being extraordinary. They lack something, which we possess but at same time they have something extraordinary which we don’t possess. Instead of restricting your children from being friends with them or avoiding yourself from them,  just keep yourself in place of such people. How will you feel, when society reject you? Just because the mistakes that you have not commited. So accept them as they are, and help them to flourish their talent. 

Its weird but helpful… 

Hi! Today I am going to touch a very touchy topic. Its not just touchy topic but also sensative topic. Everyone of us will be having one or the other views on it. It is not just related to me but everyone. Its boring but interesting. Its irritating but pleasing. Its authentic but fictional. Believe me it’s actually very weird but   valuable. We are hitched with it since our childhood. Its not story of just Indians but whole world have the same connection with it.  Can you guess the thing I am talking  about. No, Then its our subject Mathematics. Maths. 

Its not like I love maths so I am writing about it, but if something I have to run away from is, then its maths. I have made various attempts to stay away from it,but this maths is like a shadow which never left me. To avoid it I had choosen Nature science but our physics and chemistry have such strong friendship with maths that it was impossible for me to separate them. Seeing their inseparable friendship tear rolled down my eyes. Economics, you can’t study it without maths and after all Geography it have strong relationship with maths. Wherever  I ran,  this maths followed me and it is the ghost which haunt everyone  

Aryabhatta, this man with bald head and saffron dress is responsible for all these, neither he would be inventing zero and decimal systems nor this maths would be  getting difficult. Its different thing that if he was not at work then still we would have been ignorant about the distance from the earth to the sun. But whatever it is,  my life would be in peace. Maths lovers always will have respect in my eyes because they are loving the most unloved thing I would imagine.  

But, maths is so important to us that we can’t ignore it. Our monetary system totally relies on maths and most of the health things such as blood pressure, pulse rate and even hemoglobin is measured with maths. So destroying it with nuclear weapons is not going to help me. But, the only thing which I love of maths is that it teaches us that most difficult problems too have solutions, just you need to find different approaches. Whenever I face difficulty I opened the book and see the most difficult problem after staring it for twenty minutes I go to solution page and see answers (I am so dumb that I can’t find my own solution) seeing the answer I get that this fictional problem have solution then definitely my real problem would have. 

In India everywhere your mathematical skills are tested and yea, if you are good at maths  you are labeled as Intelligent. So friends its weird but helpful. 

Mobile got sticked in our hands with feviquick… 

“Roli, what are you doing in mobile? Just after hooking out of bed, you hook yourself to mobile. Do you ever know what is going on in house?” my mom snapped at me today morning. Rainy morning with no sun the 9 A. M seemed to be just 6 A. M. Tired me dragged myself towards balcony so that I can read the latest chat on whats app in peace. 

” Okay! Leaving mobile but please don’t raise your volume at least in morning.” I yawned till I felt that there was enough air in my body and said her.. 

“Brush, your teeth atleast and eat something.” my mom pleaded me, I was surprised moms can pleade for doing brush too.  I just nodded and felt that I should be brushing. After my brush I sat on sofa near window so thay I can get accurate weather forcast. But still I was hooked in mobile but this time it was productive as I was searching for new pdfs of books. Again my mom appeared with a plate of chopped apples and handed over to me. Mobile in right hand, so I preferred left,  it made her angry. So giving me stern look she sat beside me. Not to look wet trees,  but my mobile screen, she wanted to was I dating someone or not. 

” You know that Aunty wo lives two lane behind she bought new dress, it was quite pretty. Umm I was thinking to purchase it for you.” my mom started most boring topics of her, outfit of aunties. “So you want me to dress up like Aunties.” I rolled my eyes and showed her how frustrated I was because of her talks. I took a piece of apple and froced it in my mouth. ” Because of this mobile you even don’t want to talk to your mom too. Great! What a generation have arrived. ” she showed her disappointment. I got up and walked up to another room, just to be alone with my mobile.