Once More…

One day. Yeah, one day, maybe in wedding or a busy road, in hospital or in train or somewhere, here and there we will meet. After a decade or two. But assuredly we will meet. When we will be living our dreams or regretting for not living them. When we will have those initial signs of old-age and we might be in distress by feeling the old-age at our doors. Everything will be changed. But through our lost connection we will meet like two correct wires joined together to flicker the bulb.

You will be with a girl approx your age holding your right hand firmly. A girl who will be less beautiful than me, but she will own you and you will own her. On your other side a little girl who will resembles the tiny angel from the heaven. With two ponies. Her hairs like noodles coming out of her rubber-band as a water from fountain. She will be holding your index finger stiffly that your both sweats will be mingling with each others. Standing in between two ladies you couldn’t give me your strong smile once which boosted me more than caffeine. But you will smile, smile a feeble smile.

I will be scandalize after seeing you. My heart will sink in gloom to know that you are a married man, happily we can’t declare just by seeing face na !!!! I will get frozen and curse my fate for having an encounter with you. The encounter in which we both are going to be butchered together emotionally. You, after seeing me in business suit and sour face, you will search for a while to my vanished naiveness. You will look for my soft features and at last you will look for my marriage marks and after not finding any of these things which you expected to be with me as my close companion, will make you confused.

Still then by your expression I can understand about your doom and I will smile at you a bright one after a very long time. As before, my same dimples will emerge like holes on cheeks. Your heart will loose it’s beat and lungs breath, still you will fall once again on those dimples. You will smirk and walk towards me. I will be like a stop video. Can’t move , can’t run. Our breathing will increase and all our memories will get played in our minds in loops, as if all they were the episodes of just yesterday. It will feel like just yesterday we have danced in rain, just yesterday you have proposed me, just yesterday we cooked together. Just yesterday you left me.

I will look in your eyes, can’t resist because they are the same eyes on which I have lost my all the worlds. You will look in mine, still you can’t resist . You will find the love in the sourness. The love for “you” which isn’t rancid with time but it has increased it’s luster like a gold. But something inside you will clench after this. You might don’t know what? Maybe because the love which gave you solace is still alive like a flickering fire on stove. Same heat and same light.

The guilt in your eyes will be visible as a spot in white cloth. I will be able to sense your love and will sigh with satisfaction. We will talk for a while taking an account for each other’s life. Making mental notes in mind. Still we will have infinite topic to talks and also the moments of silence. Just like the decades before it will seem like. You will have urge to hold me in your arms, you will want to stick my head in your chest. You will feel to run away a far somewhere holding my hands. Hush……you will stop yourself. You will ask me about my husband and children and I will smirk and silently show you the same ring which you wore me, by making promises that you never kept.

Astonishment in your eyes and voice will be traceable. You will be moved and cripple with your thoughts. By giving my regards to your wife and your daughter I will zoom out from there.

But on my second step I will overhear your wife asking about me and you will say “We were just friends!!!” You will be also moved by this reply. I will sense you are still looking at me going afar from you, but I won’t turn.

Lost and broken I will come home. Angry, jaded and reckless I will cry myself to sleep. Again there will be no-marks of your yours in my life.

You will be sad and gloomy. You will realize something unknown Alchemy was still with life. Still you misses me everyday, still you need me. But your daughter’s voice will force you to brush away my thoughts. Again I will be the background. Abandon and ignored in your life.

Yea, we will meet to hurt ourselves ONCE MORE!!!

Roli..

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